One of my friends used the word morose to describe me and she was dead serious about it. That was in 2017 on a cold winter day and we were walking alongside a stream in the woods where we used to go.
I might have been depressed then. Who knows…
Early interpersonal trauma can change our emotional world in lasting ways that make adult relationships difficult to navigate. Becoming aware of our patterns is a vital first step in beginning to heal both ourselves and our relationships.
So here are some ways trauma might still be affecting your relationships:
Let me start by saying two important things, that were said by other people. First: “Katarina, if you never ask, you’ll never get”. Second: “fierce independence is a trauma response”.
Some of us as children learn to minimize our neediness so as to not be a burden to our parents…
The only article I wrote on childhood trauma had an increase in readings during the holidays. I was curious. I went into stats and found that the most reads were on the 26th of December — the day after everyone connects with their family.
Most people have at least some…
My heart is already broken
even before you can break it
that is why I have no fear
when reaching towards love
Since I was about fourteen years old it started dawning on me that human affection and regard are unreliable. I set out with so much faith and I…
I want you to feel as if the stars have come closer
that you might just be able to steal one
to take home with you in your pocket
I want you to feel that the moon is a little brighter
that it might be pulling you
a little closer
When I first read Gender Trouble by the feminist philosopher Judith Butler and came across the concept of “performativity”, I felt years of oppressive aloneness fall away. I felt that someone described what I have been trying to put into words for a lifetime. I felt validated.
But this is…